Recovering…For Christmas

i’m feeling a little relieved right now. my problems are starting to get solved slowly. my stepfather is fine now. he’s now resting at home. but he’s not working yet so it means that our family has still some financial issues. but for me, its OK! health is wealth! as long as we are all fine.

i also want to thank some friends of mine who really helped me get through this.  as much that i wanna name y’all… but I guessed its not so necessary.   im really thankful to have you guys!   i really see your effort of trying to help me.  and during that time, i really knew who were my real and true friends. and for those who sent their messages of enrouragement @ the Tagboard, Comment box… Thank you too.  i will reply to all your messages right after this.  once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!  God bless y’all for your goodness!

and oh no… im not so aware that Christmas is coming in just like less than a week! honestly, im really unaware. im so blinded of what happened recently.

but i say it to myself, “I have to be MERRY this CHRISTMAS… No matter what”

xoxo,
fLofLo

:(

I’m sorry for the title of this blog.  There’s no other way I can express this.  If only I could paste my own face, then I would.
I’m so lonely and sad right now.  I might be depressed.

Something bad happened yesterday.  It was so sudden.
I was just reviewing for my International Exams when I heard my mama screaming for help!   I don’t want to narrate the story in detail because it hurts me more.
So to make the long story short, my stepfather had his second attack due to high blood pressure.   I was really in trauma when I heard my mama almost crying for help, hearing my neighbors…

I just didn’t know what to do so I just get inside in the house and just waiting for mama’s instructions, “get the spoon, face towel, shirt, fan…”  and I was just praying hard… so very hard.   I’m like crazy when I was praying.  I prayed for my stepfather’s safety, that he must be alive.   I even prayed like ” fail me to my exams Lord, just let my stepfather be alive”

And so God heard me.

My stepfather now is resting at home.   He can’t walk straight anymore and his mouth is like hanging, causing some speech problems.   I hope he’ll be fine soon.   He’s the breadwinner of the family.
I’m really upset and discouraged on what my mama told me.   She’s like pushing me to stop studying and find a job.   Plus, I got some sermons from my lola too.
So last night, I can’t sleep.   I’m crying while reading some notes for my international exams (supposed to be today).   It was the first time that I cried so hard that I wasn’t able to sleep.   I used to cry at nights before whenever there’s something bad happened, and that caused me to sleep because I got tired of crying.   You know what I mean?  Like when you cry, its like its easy for you to sleep afterwards.   But last night was different.   I was so bothered.   I was thinking a lot of things especially my future.   I was assuming of a dull future.   What if my stepfather dies? *knocks on wood   Can we survive?   What will happen to me? To my mama?    Hhhhuuuhhh.. enough of it!

So today, I’m supposed to have my international exam but I decided not to take it.  But I still went to school though.  I want the sched of my exams to be moved.  But the head in school said that its really impossible.  I’m studying but I guessed I can’t really concentrate.   I’m afraid I might get low score or I might fail for my scholarship contract.   I’m getting crazy.   I don’t know what to do.   So the exam-in-charge in school decided that I must not take my tests anymore because it might really affect on my performance.   And I’m starting to be pressured again because my scholarship contract is due now for a year .   And I’m really telling some entrusted people in school about my problem.   Thanks God for sending me angels in disguise.   They want to help me get a job, a part-time teacher.  And my contract?  They said they will extend it.   But I don’t know if I’ll be happy about it.   I want to finish studying now so that I can work and let my mama drowned in money!

Right now, I’m in school.  I don’t like to go home.   Its weakening.
I thought that 2005 is my year.   I had less trials compared to hell 2004!   I don’t expect that, what happened now is trying to squeeze in.

I don’t know how to end this.   I usually signed as “xoxo, fLofLo” but I can’t dare to give y’all my hugs and kisses.

Exams Coming

hi dear fwens!

i’ll be not around for like… a week or two because i’ll be staying home whole day, whole night studying hard for my upcoming UCLES (internatiol exams).

so please pray for me that I will pass my tests. please…

and oh, thank you so much for visiting my blog especially for dropping by some love… your messages!  keep them coming!
i’ll reply to ALL your messages when i’ll be back soon ok?
and to those who "linked" my site, thanks a lot!  i’ll "link back" too

xoxo,
fLofLo

Rubi

my morning won’t be complete if I won’t tune in to my fave show on TV, Rubi! Mujer!
I can’t believe this telenovela will going to end.  i really love watching the show because of Rubi (Barbara Mori).  d*mn she is a drop dead gorgeous best actress.  i like the way she acts!  just try to check out her stunning facial expressions when she did those “plastic” thingies and pretentions!
And i guessed Rubi is one of a kind… where can you find another “Bida na Kontrabida?”  So props to ABS-CBN for airing Rubi.  I hope there would be a sort of “Rubi Rewind” just like what they did on some koreanovelas (Meteor Garden Rewind, Oh Feel Young! Sa Umaga)

Rubi is not your ordinary telenovela.  It’s not really usual!  That’s why I’m really hooked to it!  The story…the plot… and of course, the lead character.  They also have a summer setting in Cancun!  My dream summer escapade!
Rubi may be the enemy of everybody…not just in the show but also in reality because some people that I know don’t like to watch the program because they find Rubi evil.
But actually, Rubi exists in the real world. 
Plastics, over-ambitious, pretentious, selfish, manipulative, materialistic, two-faced people really exist.

In fairness, believe it or not… I learned some lessons watching Rubi despite her bad image.
It’s not that I learn to be plastic like her too! hahaha   But my plastic radar is upgraded.  I know better to spot between a real and fake person.
I also don’t trust people that much anymore.  Any moment, they may betray you.
I’m so careful when people making alibis because it might be full of lies.  And I believe that every person has something to hide, everyone may be pretentious.

And do you think I’m really influenced by the lead star herself, Rubi?  Yes, of course!
It’s natural that I have curly hair almost like Rubi.  I love to walk like her hahaha She’s a headturner! Eyes glued on her when she struts!  One of her facial expressions really caught my attention.  I don’t know how to describe it.  It’s like showing your teeth and you’re like projecting your chin and with an eyebrow raised.  Just watch me and you’ll see!
Well, those are just her physical characteristics.  She’s really beautiful.  I also dig her attitude!
It’s just that, I’m seeing the positive of all the bad things she does.  Like if she will have an evil plan, she really make sure that she’ll succeed and will do everything about it.  And unfortunately, she always did.  The good thing there is… she has that strong determination.  Yes! Indeed, she’s a very strong woman.   She never gives up.   She doesn’t get easily bothered.   She’s also wise.   If only she uses her traits for the good, then she could have been the ideal role model for women.

plus, after watching Rubi, I was really interested in some casts especially Hector (Sebastian Rulli) who is a model and Rubi (Barbara Mori).  Both were included in Latin’s People Magazine Most Beautiful People.

I have some spoilers here:
-Rubi will be punished… she will lost her leg.  She will fall into the stairs because Alejandro and her will have a fight.  Alejandro is also the one who will operate Rubi.
-Alejandro and Maribel will marry
-And oh… Alejandro will be in jail too.
-Lucio will be killed by someone.
-Cayetano will die because of his brain tumor.
-Fernanda will grow up.

nah… i will edit this post. im in a hurry!